Thursday, March 31, 2011

In the midst of Little Sibs Weekend

I received the scarf from Brenda on Friday, March 25 around 5pm. I was rushing around all day, going from class to class with meetings in between. I wish I could have spent more time with Brenda but I had already planned to meet with my parents as soon as my last class was over. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting such a beauiful scarf. When I saw it, I was instantly drawn to its gold stitching and intricate design. I was surprised! It looked like a scarf I would definitely buy if I had passed it in a store. Since none of my siblings came in town, I got to spend time with my parents who I've been missing so much lately. My mom's reaction to the scarf was "Oo! Pretty scarf! Where did you get it?" I briefly explained the Sisterhood of the Traveling Scarf and she thought it was a great idea. Since it was chilly this past weekend, the scarf came in handy! I wore the scarf out to the ghetto, to class, and to Holy Angels Church with my parents on Sunday. I received several compliments :). Needless to say, this was a good experience and I'm glad I participated.


When I first got the scarf from Maria, I was in awe of the brilliant and shimmering colors woven together. I must admit, this was not a scarf I would typically buy off a rack. I have a lot of scarves, mostly solid colors and definitely none that sparkle or shimmer. My first thoughts were similar to Erykah Badu’s song Bag Lady. I probably have too many scarves, too much stuff, and carry too much. Giving some of it away would be a good idea, especially during this Lenten season. Having this very special fabric with me was inspirational and reminded me of our great interconnectedness. This scarf really struck me. I was honored to wear it for four days due to an extended weekend. I wore the scarf in the presence of the most supportive and challenging women and men in my life. I found joy in bringing the scarf, this experience, into my time with them. The scarf made it to several meetings, socials with friends, Mass with my family, prayer with a local Marianist community, the market for groceries, and many other places. It even joined me at the dog park! I also wrapped the scarf around a colleague who was not able to sign up, to allow her to walk with the experience for a short time. With joy, I met Kristen to give her the scarf and continue its journey into her life. In my delay to write, I realize that we all carry too much. I have probably written on this blog over 30 times in my head, but not officially until today. I have often thought of those who beautifully wore the scarf before me and those who gracefully wore it after my turn, as well. I held the scarf in prayer while I was blessed to wear it, thinking of all the women touched by the scarf. Sisters, I have kept you all in my heart ever since. Thank you for being the shimmer in our community, interwoven into our daily lives and enlivening our broader vision. I found this prayer about valiant women and thought it might speak to you…


Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Abundant Blessings: The Adventures of Kristina and Traveling Scarf #1

My dear sisters,

This experience was exactly what I hoped it would be: The chance to meet two wonderful women in person, read the dynamic stories of many other empowering women, and come to realize some of the many blessings in life during my time with the scarf.

I received the scarf from Bridget on Monday afternoon, and we had a meaningful hour long chat in the Blend, conversing about our lives and making connections through our mutual involvement in Campus Ministry. Bridget it was such a joy to talk to you and get to know you - when I make my way to Campus South I will be sure to visit your office!

It was a day filled with sunshine on Monday, and the shiny gold of the scarf reflected the light of the sun in the most beautiful way (see the image above!). As I went to my saxophone quartet rehearsal Monday evening I received many compliments on the scarf and told its story. I even ran into one of my fellow sisters in the sisterhood who recognized the scarf immediately!

Tuesday was my full day with the scarf, and even though it was gray and cloudy outside I was beaming with my beautiful scarf that smelled of the natural musks of the women before me. I went to my biology lab and instead of doing the normal lab we watched a Planet Earth video called "Saving Our Species," a video about the human impact on the world's ecosystems. Even though I am an English and Spanish major this video fascinated me exceedingly because I had no idea that half of our world's ecosystems are gone. There are only 30 snow leopards left in the world and over a third of the world's frogs are severely threatened - all because of humans! I hugged the scarf as I thought through these staggering statistics and decided that I wanted to tell all of you about this. As a woman of great faith I believe that we are all the stewards of God's creation, and we should not only take care of ourselves, but also take care of the environment around us. We are so blessed with the beauty of a nature that sustains us all!

I came back to my room and as I sat at my desk to check my e-mail I looked over to my left at a photo of my aunt and myself two summers ago (see the picture top left). Sisters, I want to tell you a little bit about my Auntie Lynn, the embodiment of love and benevolence. She was my aunt, godmother, and confirmation sponser and throughout my life she has inspired my positive outlook on life and my philosophy that we need to spread love to others, even to those we don't know. She passed away last August of cancer, but her love still lives in me, and I hope that I can bestow this love, happiness, and positive grace upon others that I have the privelage to meet. I urge all of you to spread the love in your own unique way, whether it be by doing service, writing letters, or just smiling at a stranger you pass on the way to class or work. One of my favorite quotes says it all: "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around" - Leo Buscaglia.

I passed the scarf along to Joan, and what a privelage it was to meet her! We met in the Galley for coffee and it was a true pleasure to chat with her about our families and our lives. Joan I hope to see you around campus after this experience!

So sorry for the long blog post - it is the writer in me! The words just keep coming and coming! May God bless all of you dear women!

With love,

Kristina DeMichele

Tuesday, March 29, 2011


This experience was empowering. I felt a connection with the women who had worn the scarf and one with those who will wear it in the future. I thoroughly enjoyed personally meeting two wonderful women. One has been an inspiration to me over theyears by leading and connecting women on campus and making sure they have the support and voice they need. The other is an amazing young woman who is full of life and joy and has such a bright future ahead of her. I know she will savor and enjoy every minute of it. I wrote the following as tribute to all women.

  • I am one, alone.

  • I talked to a woman and shared stories about my life.

  • She listened.

  • The woman shared stories about her life.

  • I listened.

  • We connected.

  • She and I talked with other women.

  • They listened.

  • They shared their stories and we listened.

  • Now we are all connected as one.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Stuck in bed

No. I'm not sick, sisters. I'm exhausted and ashamed. I bought into the superwoman complex and am realizing what admittedly many woman like yourself warned me about. Nothing can get 100% when you are pulled 100 different directions. I will be sending you all a clearer apology via email shortly.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Just a Little Bit of Luck...

Although I ended up creating a little more difficulty than originally planned, I was able to receive the beautiful scarf and spend a little bit of time getting to know an amazing faculty member whom I probably never would have met had it not been for this experience. We shared a little bit about ourselves, and realized we were more connected than I would have expected based solely on my major. Unfortunately there was a time rush that cut our meeting short, but it was great getting to know another woman who I can look up to as a great role model.

During my day wearing the scarf, I felt invincible. It seemed to have brought so much luck to my day, helping me secure a job for next year, create a perfect schedule for next semester, as well as feel completely prepared for a midterm. It may have all been in my head, (or maybe I have read "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" one too many times...) but I felt like the day, the weather, and my mood could not have gotten any better! It was a great feeling to have such a great experience, and I hope everyone else who gets to experience the scarf feels the same way!

Unfortunately, the woman I was to pass the scarf to was sick the day of our meeting so I had to leave the scarf on her desk, but I'm looking forward to a possible make up lunch with her to carry on the spirit and companionship of this activity.

May everyone feel the blessings and love that travel not only through the scarf, but also through this bond of sisterhood and the community of UD as a whole!

Prayers and Frustrations

I first was to get the scarf from Laurie Malone but found out that, unfortunately, she had to drop out of the program to tend to her own medical care; she was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. I asked her permision to share this with the sisterhood and ask everyone to keep her in their prayers. She says that the more people who think, pray and care, the better. I agree. When Daria found out about Laurie's new challenge, she offered her the original scarf from the pilot project, which, appropriately, is pink. I have not yet met my new sister, but am thankful to be able to support her.
So, when I found out Laurie would not be on campus, I asked the person on the list before her, Rebecca, about meeting to exchange the scarf. I think my life it just too busy, as we struggled to find a time that she could be on campus when I didn't have a meeting. Then we found out that Rebecca had not been able to get the scarf; it was lost! We wanted to meet anyway and finally found time before the work day; we decided to meet for breakfast. Unfortunately, she got sick and so we did not get to meet either.
So...I'm a little disappointed not to have had the opportunity to meet these women, though happy to have had a chance to try! And please, everyone, keep Laurie in your prayers.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Oh the places we go...

Through many emails, many meetings and confusing schedule changes everything eventually became resolved! It all worked out in the end and it was an amazing experience meeting some of the beautiful women here at Dayton. I had the privilege of meeting Racqueal who is part of the financial aid office. We exchanged stories of our lives and family. I truly enjoyed her company and was in shock that when she presented me the scarf it included a gift! It was a delicious smelling candle (which I am breaking the rules in my dorm to burn!) and a poem written by Racqueal which I must include. It is beautiful and has an amazing message.

Let your light shine!
In the mist of the hustle and bustle
Let you light shine
For there may be others who
Need just a moment in time
A time to reflect that hope still exist
A time to reflect about the sacredness of being a women
Oh, yes we are a rare and special breed
A gift given by God that only us women can see
Slow down to know who you are, where you are, and where you are going
And know that in this very moment you are where God wants you to be
So, let you light shine and show the world who you want to be!

The first thing I noticed about the scarf was the scent. It became apparent that we all have our own body washes and perfumes that combine to a distinct smell which the scarf has. It shows the journey it has been on. It reminded me of someone that never washes their car to show that they are well traveled and give character to their car. Even though it may not be our preferred choice of scent, it is an interesting aspect of the scarf. I think, and someone correct me if I am wrong, but I am fairly certain that I had the youngest person in the sisterhood wear the scarf. After my 6 hour day of classes, I went to babysit for a family in Oakwood. I wore the scarf with a brown long sleeve shirt, a tan sweater and big metal aqua earrings (to bring an accent of color!). I babysit a 13 month old, who is not yet walking, and she loves to be held and loves to climb all over anyone who will give her attention. Her name is Hannah, and when I first picked her up, normally she would play with my hair. The time I was wearing the scarf though she became obsessed with the tassels, texture and how big it is. At first I held onto the scarf even when she tried to pull it off me, but that got tiring so I let her play with the scarf. She wrapped it around her head and began to laugh so hard. I thought she was going to stop breathing she was laughing so hard! It was a beautiful moment.

I then handed the scarf off to one of UD's famous and fabulous campus ministers, Lauren. This was our second meeting. We met a few weeks earlier because of the mix up in the schedule. During our first meeting, we met for coffee and ended up talking for about an hour. We realized we had a lot in common. Such as our experience working with the criminal system. I am a tutor at the Montgomery County Jail and she worked with the criminal system after receiving her undergraduate degree. I love making instant connections like that. We knew what the experience was like and did not even have to exchange words to describe our experiences. After our coffee date we were both headed for the 10am service for Ash Wednesday, and that led us to us bringing up the gifts together. But the best part was we became famous on Dayton local news! If you want to see the clip, it is earlier in some of the blogs. Overall, it was a wonderful exchange of the scarf and a way to see the community come together full circle. Oh the places we go....with the Sisterhood's Scarf.

Monday, March 21, 2011

My Scarf Day

I received the scarf on Wednesday morning and got to meet someone (Pam) new to me. She has been at UD five years now. We talked about how the scarf holds the odors of all the women who have worn it. I wear scarves frequently, so no one mentioned anything about my wearing it, but I found it nice to have that sense of being surrounded by the lives of other women on campus. Many of my scarves come from my times in India. Often when I return home from a trip there, I wait to wash the scarves because they retain the smells of the country and the people thereand so stir my memories.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Better late than never!

Better late than never!  Right?  I’m an “on-time” person and submitting this blog so long after I had my time with the scarf is not like me.  I think technology got me...I could figure out how to create a whole new blog, but I couldn’t seem to add to our blog! Grrr
I went to The Hangar and met Megan, a freshman, to receive the scarf.  Megan isn’t someone I would have met now had it not been for the scarf sisterhood connection.  We spent a few minutes talking and learning a little about each other and why we wanted to be part of the journey of the scarf.
I feel like the scarf was my partner during it’s time with me.  It got to ride in UD’s blue Cavalier that I use while working in the student neighborhood.  It was windy on Friday and I took some pictures of the scarf blowing in the wind.  Somehow that seems symbolic.  Our lives float along on the wind carried along faster than we realize.  On Monday, the weather had changed again and it was cold, so the scarf kept me warm as I visited houses in the student neighborhood.
It was meaningful to know that the scarf had been with other women and was moving on to more women.  We are connected. 
My hand-off to Charity was quick, but we made time for a good photo-op!  I saw Charity the next day at a book discussion (The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks) and it was cool to be able to say... “Hey, I know you!  We are part of “the sisterhood.”  I love the immediate connection that the scarf generates in us.
I hope everyone else has a great time on this adventure as the scarf floats along through our lives.

My Scarf Experience

I have become acutely aware in the last 20 months how very important it is to have strong female relationships in your life. By participating in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Scarf, I hope to promote how important it is to seek out, grow and nurture these types of relationships throughout your entire existence on this earth. I received the scarf from a student and passed it on to a faculty member. It was great to meet and relate to two women who are in very different phases in their lives. My actual day with the scarf was not unlike most. It was busy and full of things I needed to get done. My daughter, who stopped by to visit me on the day I wore the scarf, was the only person who commented on it. I explained to her what I was doing and she thought it was cool. Mothers do not get "cool" points very often so I was thrilled. Wearing the scarf around my neck made me think about the women in my life and how each of them play a unique role in helping me to be who I am. And, I am exited to see how the women I met through this experience will shape and change my life.

Something in Common

On Friday, the 11th, I arranged to meet LaJoya at 11:00am for coffee. So, at 11:10 on Friday when I was getting ready to take a shower, you can imagine my shock upon realizing that it was, in fact, Friday, and I had completely missed our meeting time. I sent a hurried email to Joy, including my cell number, and we were able to meet at 12:50 between classes. She was incredibly understanding about the whole thing, and when she asked if I was graduating in May and I answered "yes," she gave me a knowing look; she will be graduating as well and completely understands the mindset of a second-semester senior. We agreed to meet the next week, have coffee, and have a little chat.

Joy and I met on Monday to get coffee and chat, just after I handed off the scarf to the next wearer. Sitting and chatting with Joy, sharing coffee and cookies and stories about school and family, we found that we had a lot in common! It was wonderful to sit and chat with someone new, and I nearly lost track of time and missed my noon class! We agreed to meet up again later on in the semester and catch up.

Friday night was opening night for the UD Monologues. Usually, each cast member writes a one-sentence silly bio for the program (ie: Natalie cooks with the Spatula of Justice), and my bio for that weekend was "Anne has a very special scarf: [blog address]." I was so happy to wear the scarf for those performances. Each Monologue is a personal thought or a personal story, and each writer or performer puts a part of him/herself into the show. The stories are varied and told by very different people, but they all come together to make one great experience that the cast gets to share with the audience. For me, the UD Monologues is a show that intends to unite people, and wearing a scarf that many women had worn before me, and others would wear after, was a beautiful reminder of the true interconnectedness that we pride ourselves on at UD. Within this project, we are all different women, with different life experiences, but here we are at UD, sharing in this experience together.

Wearing the scarf while performing and listening to the stories of others made me wonder about the lives of the other women who had worn that scarf. Had they thought similar things? Had they dealt with similar situations? Had they experienced things that I could never understand? The beauty of the scarf is that it brings together all of these different women so that, no matter how different our lives may be, we have something in common now.


Thank You

When I first heard about this project, I thought it was a really great idea.  I love all of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants books, and secretly dream of doing something like that with my friends.  So this was a perfect chance for me!  I had the scarf over the weekend, so I didn't get to display it on campus as much as I would have liked to.  But I did get to enjoy wearing it to the grocery store and out to my friend's birthday party.  It felt nice to have something so fabulous to wear when I don't usually get dressed up very much.  The scarf definitely attracted attention!  But what I like most about this project is having a connection to so many other women on campus.  When I received the scarf from the person before me, we connected over our similar goals and living through the changes on campus, and I met someone else who was a transfer student like me!  When I passed the scarf on, I met a person who works at the university and whose daughter goes to UD, a situation to which I can relate since my dad and my brother both work here too.  It's nice to think about having connections to so many people, but still having so much to share with each other.  Not to mention the legacy that all of these scarves have from being shared by so many great people.  This project was a really neat experience and I really enjoyed it!
-Megan Hills

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Bonds of Sisterhood

Like most of the other women who have already written blog entries, I was very excited to receive the scarf and feel connected to all who have worn it before me. Sisterhood has always been a large part of my experience of being a woman. I have grown up the second of eight children and I am blessed that 4 of my 7 siblings are sisters. No matter how far (physically) we have been separated, I have always felt connected to my sisters in a different and deeper way than I have felt connected to female friends. I found myself these past few days reflecting on the amazing bonds of female friendship but even more so the bonds I have with two of my sisters who are in undergrad at UD. Before coming back to graduate school at UD I lived out in Colorado, 20 hours away from any of my family members. While my discernment led me to be back at UD it also involved a conversation with my sisters, one who was going to be a junior, Corinne, and one who would decide to attend UD for her freshman year, Cara. To be truthful we were all a little hesitant about being at the same school together. Not to say we wouldn’t get along but when you grow up in a large family, in your early 20’s there can be a desire to find your own identity that doesn’t necessarily involve your siblings. I think we all were afraid of stepping on one another toes and hindering each other’s experience.

Although we started out in August 2009 with much
hesitancy I can say with certainty the three of us have grown extremely close, a closeness that could not have happened if Cara or I had found ourselves at different schools. As sisters we are able to share our laughter and our tears with one another, something I lacked with my brother when we were in undergrad at UD together. We try to make a point to have dinner together every so often and to see each other weekly if not daily. We have helped each other grow in faith, challenged one another to become better people, and been silly together. Our idea of family and especially sisterhood has developed into a community and therefore our appreciation of and need for one another has grown into something beautiful. This has been one of the greatest blessings of my time back at UD for grad school. I now know the bond of sisterhood holds tight no matter where we are in the world or how we feel about one another in a given moment. These past few days I have been very aware of the blessings of sisters and sisterhood that God has given me in my life. This scarf experience of being connected to women, “sisters”, around campus has led me to recognize the unique relationship Cara, Corinne, and I have created. Next year I will be gone fromthis place, I don’t know where I will be yet, but I will always carry with me the bond of sisterhood. My community of sisters is far deeper and wider than I could have ever imagined it would be.

Colleen O'Grady (Picture above: Corinne, Cara, and I. Picture below: Cara, Me wearing the scarf)

Friday, March 11, 2011

The famous scarf!

Meeting to exchange the scarf, led us to attend Ash Wednesday Mass together, to carry the gifts and have a second of fame on TV.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The Scarf's Journey

The delay in this post is due to an absolutely full schedule.  Unfortunately, my exchange of the scarf was simply an exchange of the scarf.  Denise had to give me the scarf while she was on break during conference sessions.  We simply said, “Hello and thank you.”  I missed the chance to get to know Denise but was blessed at the time of the exchange to find a familiar colleague who is responsible for the care of her elderly mother. Our conversation was heartfelt and insightful as I care for my mother as well.  Our moms have lived with us for a number of years and they both have dementia.  Each of us struggles to meet the needs of our moms, our husbands, and our children.  In addition the demands of our jobs take so much of our time that there is very little time for us.  Dementia is such a horrible disease.  Seeing our moms fade away is incredibly painful.  We are grieving at the loss of the person our moms once were.  Although this friend did not participate in the sisterhood activities, knowing she understands my frustrations, loss, and grief brought home the purposes and messages of our sisterhood.
I wore the scarf around my waist some of the time and sometimes around my neck.  I actually wear scarves quite often and it may be the reason no one asked me about it.  This scarf is larger and more beautiful than any of my own scarves.  I was often tempted to share the story of the sisterhood with my almost exclusive all female office but resisted.  There was something special about keeping the support of the sisterhood a secret for the day.  The scarf really does provide a means to feel warm and comforted knowing other women share in this journey.
Several days after passing along the scarf to Jasmine, I attended a meeting where the scarf appeared again on Maria, my good friend and colleague.  It was fun to share the meaning of the scarf with Maria.  Seeing how lovely she looked draped in the rich colors brought the collective journey back to me again.
Thanks sisters…peace to you on this day.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

"Hey, look at me! I'm wearing a scarf!"

Hello, fellow scarf-wearers! I got my scarf from somebody who is a VIP on campus. . .she even has an award named after her! She is over in the Rector's office (I'm not sure if I'm supposed to write names on here or not, so I will just leave it off). I was a little nervous getting the scarf because she is "kind of a big deal" around campus, but was so fun and approachable. I took a picture with her when I first got the scarf. We talked about some things I was doing on campus, like the commuter student organization that I started and she knew of a commuter that might like to join. What a coincidence! Yay for networking :)

The first thing I noticed about it was how shiny it is. It's really sparkly! I usually don't wear something like that. It's also long and luxurious, which I thought wouldn't work on my tiny, short frame but I was wrong. The scarf reminded me to try new things, even things that I don't think would work. I just started wearing scarves in general this year, since I bought some in Guatemala when I went but those scarves were smaller and somewhat less conspicuous than the Travelling Scarf. Still, women should wear something flashy every once in a while (or even every day, honestly. We've all got a fabulous side!).

I felt different wearing it; like people were looking at me and my colorful, eye-catching scarf. Some people were looking at me and told me how awesome it was. I said that this was the Traveling Scarf--they had no idea what that meant, but still liked it. A few people knew what it was, though and commented on how great of a program it is.

It's nice to think that there's something that ties us all together. I am not sure who has worn this scarf before I did. When you think about it, every person and every scarf/article of clothing/whatever has a story. All people are tied together in our shared history and experiences. This scarf is yet another way that we can all remember that as women, we are united. As people, we need to think of each other as fellow "scarf-wearers" in life. We have many things in common other than one singular article of clothing. How can we in our lives show our appreciation for those commonalities in each other?

I hate to admit it but when my turn came around to get the scarf, all I could think was "why did I add one more thing to my busy week". I find that my values of appreciating the beauty and blessings in my life and connecting with others (particularly women) can drown in the sheer number of tasks I need to get done. I am guessing some of you can relate! I would love to say that once I got the scarf I was able to have a total perspective change for those days; that didn't really happen. However, I was able to slow down for some moments within each of those days, apreciate the gorgeous color and texture of the scarf, make some new connections and take some time to enjoy the connections I already have. So here's to small steps in the direction of living in a way that is consistent with what I believe is important. Let me close with a quote from a plaque that I have in my home; "Here's to good women, may we know them, may we raise them, may we be them. Erin

Monday, March 7, 2011

Time To Enjoy A Conversation

Before I begin talking about my experience, I must apologize for my tardiness. I received the scarf from Daphene over a week ago and haven’t had the chance to sit down and gather my thoughts about this experience. I run (well briskly walk) from one meeting, class, event or activity to another. It seems like these days I rarely have time to actually sit and enjoy a conversation with someone. With that being said, I have many different conversations with many different people all the time…the piece that is often missing is the pure enjoyment I receive from the conversation. I am constantly thinking about what I need to be doing next or what I forgot I needed to do that I just remembered. My goal for the Sisterhood of the Traveling Scarf was to really listen and engage with to the women I was connected to.

I had a beautiful conversation with Daphene about her life as a new grad student and wife. She has such passion for working with others and I never really knew that about her. Daphene was an RA for my department but she never worked on my staff. We would say hello to each other in passing but our first real conversation was when she passed the scarf to me. It made me realize that I was missing out by not getting to know the other RAs in the department. I truly enjoyed our conversation and spending time with her. Thank you Daphene for reminding me to take a little extra time to get to know the students who aren’t on my staff.

I had an equally as beautiful conversation with Ione about her life in Columbus and her drive to Dayton every morning. Our lives are so different but I felt a connection with her and we probably could have spent most of the morning talking (if I didn’t have to run to a meeting). She drives an hour+ to work every morning and I literally have to walk through a door to get into my office. She has lived in Ohio her whole life and just received tenure from UD. I haven’t lived in the same place for longer than 4 years since I graduated High School and I am looking to move again in the next year or two. Like I said…very different but we still connected because the scarf. Thank you Ione for reminding to take time out of my crazy day to sit down and enjoy a conversation.

Rebecca S.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Invitation to a great show!

Hello sisters! It's not my turn to write yet, but I wanted to invite you all to an upcoming show called The UD Monologues. I am a director and performer in the show this year and I'll be wearing a scarf during the performance!

Every March, in conjunction with Women's Month, Studio Theater (UD's student-run theater organization) puts on The UD Monologues, a show about gender on campus. The Monologues are all student-written and non-fiction, and they change each year; they are hilarious, tear-jerking, awkward, heart-warming, and, most importantly, completely honest. We talk about many issues that relate to gender - not just women - and our cast this year consists of 9 women and 2 men. It's a great experience to see the show, and we always invite the audience to stay afterwards for a chat with the cast. The show is free of charge and open for everyone to see (although I would not recommend bringing children). If you would like to come to the show, please call the reservation number listed below!

What: The UD Monologues
When: March 11 & 12 @ 8pm, March 13 @ 2pm
Where: Music and Theater Building Room 137 (aka the Black Box)
Cost: FREE
How: Make a reservation: 937 229 3685

If you want more information, please feel free to email me:

Thank you! I hope to see you there! I'll be the one in the scarf!


Thursday, March 3, 2011



Whatever my hopes were for this program...this experience, the things you have shared far outweighs them.

Thank you so much for sharing.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Freedom Center

Hello All!

I had the amazing opportunity to go to the Freedom Center last weekend while I was wearing the scarf. I had never known that such a place existed just South of us in Cincinnati. I learned a lot about the history of the United States and slavery that morning. After lunch, I decided to go to their new exhibit called Slavery Today. A major part of this exhibit is about human trafficking. As I walked around and read stories about women today and experiences that they have gone through and where they are now despite what has happened... I noticed that I was holding onto the scarf. This came to my realization as I was walking down the steps to meet with the other students. I looked down and saw that my hands were tightly holding this piece of material that I was wearing.

It made me think about this word Community that we talk about at UD and how I am now in a community with all of you. Although I have not met everyone there is a bond that these scarves have linked us to. I wonder how I can spread this bond to other people as well- my family, friends, co-workers, and residents. How can we help everyone feel a part of something, feel loved?

I am so grateful that I have been a part of this wonderful experience. Thank you.

In Sisterhood and with Love,

Before I was scheduled to wear the scarf, I read with wonder many of my sisters' posts which talked about all of the comments they got from others who noticed the scarf and their ensuing discussions explaining the scarf's origins and purpose. I was eagerly anticipating such opportunities to tell others about the journey of the scarf and my sisters on campus who had been - and would be - wearing it. But when my turn finally came, not one person commented on the scarf. No one. Nada. Zip.

Instead of being disappointed, I found myself feeling a secret glee at being quietly connected to my sisters... a secret I had that no one else knew. I felt power from being connected to my sisters and their stories through this piece of fabric.

In reflecting on that feeling of connectedness that a simple piece of fabric brought for the day, I am reminded of the many relationships with strong, caring, and extraordinary women that have sustained me in my life. Whether they are relationships of past or present, I feel secret glee that I am quietly connected to those sisters of mine.

For me, the scarf represents that powerful reminder, and I am humbled and appreciative for all of the sisters who have come into my life; some of whom are enhancing my life presently, some of whom have impacted me in a past stage of life, and some of whom I don't even know -but am connected to - through the scarf.

Denise Platfoot Lacey

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

From the Philippines to Dayton

I received the scarf from Rebecca on Monday, and had a really nice conversation with her. She shared with me how she’s lived in very different places since she graduated from high school. From college in Cincinnati to graduate work in Kansas, and now to Dayton for her job, and how she’s open to the possibilities of living anywhere in the country, depending upon the path her career takes her. I shared with her that I’ve lived in Columbus, Ohio pretty much my whole life, and even now, after spending a couple of years living in Dayton, I’m back in Columbus, in the same house I grew up in. We talked about the excitement (and for me, a little bit of the anxiety) that surrounds moving to new places. That conversation really stuck in my head when I got back to my desk, with the scarf draped proudly around my neck.

I spend most of my work time at my desk, so I have decorated my office space with lots of things that I like to look at, from art to photos of family and friends. I found myself looking at my favorite picture of my grandmother and I, feeling like the scarf had something to say about her as well, even though she lives hundreds of miles away.

The scarf reminded me that my grandmother was a weaver in the Philippines many, many years ago. Last year I spent some time with her, interviewing her in an attempt to create a kind of oral history about my family. I wanted to better understand the journeys my parents and grandparents made to get here to America, and try to understand how they were shaped by their journeys. When my parents got married, they left the Philippines behind to come here and pursue the American dream—find a good job, have a nice home, and raise their children in the best environment they possibly could. My mother’s parents quickly followed behind, so they could be closer to their own children and grandchildren. But coming here meant they had to leave everything behind—including my grandmother’s giant loom that she used to weave blankets that she would sell to bring in a little bit of money into their household. I can’t even begin to imagine the mix of emotions she felt when she first stepped off the plane in New York, knowing she would never live in the Philippines again. Her life here has been completely different, and she has spent most of her time here helping raise each of her grandchildren. Her own children (my mother and her four brothers) have all come to the States and made new lives for themselves, and have done really well.

But grandma still calls the Philippines home, even after being here for over 30 years. She’s an amazing woman, full of courage and strength that she passed on to my mother. These two women have been my heroines since I was a child, and having the scarf reminded me of how fortunate I have been to have women like them in my life, and how fortunate I continue to be, meeting new remarkable women like Rebecca, and Maria, who I passed the scarf to today. For me, the scarf with all its brightly colored woven thread represents the idea of a journey beautifully. Overcoming your fears, moving forward with strength and courage, knowing that you are connected to amazing women wherever you may go.