First of all I want to thank each of you in the scarf sisterhood. Thank you for stepping out of your comfort zone and signing up for group, wearing the scarf with pride, and sharing yourself on the blog. I have enjoyed reading each and every entry to date.

I never know what my day is going to hold when I get out of bed in the morning or when I turn my computer on, this past Wednesday was no different. In fact I was so busy on both Wednesday when I received the scarf from Charity and on Thursday when I dropped the scarf off at Laura’s that I did not actually meet either woman. I have exchanged e-mails with both ladies in hopes of catching a cup of coffee (or fountain coke) in the near future to get to know them.

When I first saw the scarf I was nervous how I was going to pull off wearing it. My idea of an accessory is wearing a watch. I am about as plain as they come, no make-up, no jewelry (besides my wedding ring) and I usually wear the same 5 or 6 outfits. I have worn scarfs before but nothing as beautiful and colorful as the sisterhood scarf. I was running from one meeting to another when my student worker handed the scarf to me indicating that someone had dropped it off for me and that I would “know what it was.” I threw it over my shoulders and ran to another meeting. During the course of my crazy day I wrapped it around my neck and become much more comfortable and confident sporting the fabulous scarf.

My day with the scarf has reminded me that many of us women don’t give ourselves the credit we deserve. I am the mother of four (yes that is not a typo) wonderful children all under the age of 7, have a child with Type I diabetes, work full-time, and have a husband that works full-time (in Cincinnati). People ask me all the time how I do it. Well I do it just like I embraced the scarf, I throw it over my shoulders and keep moving!

I rarely have time to reflect on my life and my day with the scarf and reading the blog has helped remind me that I am not alone in this crazy world, let alone the UD campus. Just remember ladies, whether you are an undergrad or a Dean, black or white, you are not alone. Take some chance, keep moving, and don’t blink, you might miss something or someone!

Angie

New Found Beauty in a Beautiful Scarf

Nelson Mandela used a quote from Maryanne Williamson in his 94 inaugural speech that is applicable to my experience in this great initiative:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others".

Wearing this beautiful scarf definitely challenged me. For starters, as so many women have said in their blogs, I had to step outside of the box with my outfit. Usually, my attire is designed for comfort, utility and intended to draw very little attention to my appearance. Within the two days of wearing rich, beautiful colors in an effort to accommodate this beautiful, attention-catching scarf, I realized a few things:

1. I look great in bright colors (contrary to the belief I grew up with, that dark-skinned women shouldn't wear bright colors because it draws too much attention to their dark skin, it brought about compliments from people that the fuscias and purples made my beautiful skin tone look rich and exotic and even more beautiful than it usually does)

2. Your appearance is the first impression people get when they begin their interaction with you. If you look like you lack confidence and personality it will definitely give them the expectation to have a positive convo with you

3. The colors you wear affect the mood you're in (I usually wear dark, dull colors and I usually am tired, bored and down at work)

4. Humility doesn't require you to be bland. You can totally be humble and be beautiful as long as you acknowledge that your beauty came from your Creator.

As I thought of what to write these past few days, I thought back to the conversation I had with the young lady who passed the scarf to me, Lauren Porter. While the two of us have seen each other in passing and at events of similar interest, we have never had a conversation. In our conversation, we went over the basics (major, plans for the future, etc), but the most noteworthy part of our conversation was the connection we made: women rights. We discussed the need for more comrodity between African American female students on campus and how attending a school where this group is so poorly represented, we can feel pressured to "blend in" and not stand out because it might make someone feel uncomfortable if we stand out. We concluded that the group she's starting, Women Wanting Change, will prayerfully be a catalyst of unity between the African American women and prayerfully the spread of pride and confidence within this group and other groups of women.

Lately, I've questioned my calling in life. As a new graduate student, it's natural to begin the search for a career and I've struggled to find something of interest, but lately I've been drawn to women empowerment, creating opportunities for education, and economic development in low income communities. My hesitancy to step up and stand out in my community is rooted in Williamson's quote, it's not a fear of inadequacy, but rather a fear of power that's beyond my control. As a Christian and ambassador of Christ, I hold the key to power beyond my comprehension. What God has put in me I cannot even understand and it has caused me to doubt if those I encounter will be receptive to what I have to say, what I want to do, and the changes/suggestions I want to introduce. Will they see my ambitions as ridiculous or brilliant? Will my love for the community and burning desire to create opportunities for empowerment be seen as internal beauty or external insanity? At the end of the day will I stand with a group of like minded individuals supporting the cause and conviction God's placed in my heart for my life, or will I stand alone fighting for a cause of others against the standards of society, structured guidelines of big name corporations, and the edgy, sketchy, critical group of people who feel the same way I feel, but don't want to challenge the majority by stepping outside of their role of being "seen and not heard"?

Often, I tell my Sunday School students to reflect on Matthew 5:14 when they go out into their communities and schools. The scripture, saying "ye are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden", reminds me, and prayerfully will remind you, that as long as we have God's light in us, we can't blend in. We will stand out and people will recognize the burning fire inside of us, the beauty within us, the joy we possess in times of trouble, and the peace we maintain even when we wear dark colors, pull our hair in a ponytail, buy clothes a size bigger, hide in our homes when we're invited to go places, sit in the pews of our churches instead of participating in ministry, or keep our opinions/suggestions to ourselves when asked how things could change for the better. I Peter 2:9 is my mission statement "for ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should show forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light".

This scarf, while it may seem meaningless to some, has challenged me to be bold, courageous, fierce and beautiful external and internally. There's no need to hide what you have, when you know what you have was given from the Lord Almighty for the uplifting of His people. Stand out, speak up, stick out, don't blend, don't sit quietly, get loud, get in people's faces and challenge the standards set by society to bring forth the voices of the overlooked, the devalued and those deemed unworthy. Until we have created an environment where all are seen as equally valuable contributors, we are putting the beautiful, glorious lights placed inside of us to waste.

God bless,

Daphene

Thank You

I didn't imagine that the scarf would be so beautiful with deep purples, teals, and greens. I received the scarf on Thursday, knowing that it was just what I needed. The day that I was scheduled to wear the scarf was the final day of student teaching in my kindergarten classroom, before I would transition to a first grade classroom in another part of the school building. I was devastated to leave, knowing that I would no longer greet the children and teacher I had grown to love on a daily basis. But I thought that there couldn't be a more perfect day to wear the scarf.

I arrived at school and received compliments from the secretaries and several teachers on my team. I was delighted to tell them the story of the sisterhood and the sense of community at UD. One of my kindergarten students even told me that she liked my outfit, a compliment that left me grinning from ear to ear. I spent the day celebrating with the children and reflecting on how much they taught me over the past two months. As I waved goodbye to the buses at the end of the day, it took all that I had to not begin crying, and of course, the scarf.

It seems silly to place so much hope in an article of clothing, but I realize that it's not the scarf that carried me through the day. It was the support of women around campus that I have never met. Knowing that I was taking part in something bigger, something intentional, left me feeling fulfilled on a day when I thought I would fall apart.

A Scarf of Shades of Red and Gold

How can a scarf, a lone scarf, colored in colors of shades of red and golden color unite and introduce women to each other?

I am not a scarf person so how will I wear this scarf. I struggled with keeping it on the first day, for it was hard to work with it draped around my neck but I discovered it was not how you wore it but why you were wearing it which then led to an incredible experience of unity and sisterhood. This was not what I expected to come from this experience. I am not sure what I thought the scarf would do, but my life was enhanced by wearing this Sisterhood scarf.

I had the pleasure of spending time getting to know two wonderful young women, their interests, their life, their views, and both with charming smiles and attitudes. I had met these young women in passing before and noticed their strength then. I now was able to meet them through this lone scarf. These women almost 20 years younger than myself shared their lives, aspirations, views of life, and just talked about many topics. It makes a person realize how much we are the same as women no matter what our age.

This scarf of wonderful shades of red allowed a bond to be formed that can forever be found in the passing of this simple piece of cloth symbolizing unity. Adding the color of gold intensified the meaning since gold is associated with wealth and prosperity and grandeur. We are now in possession of a bond of unity, wealth, prosperity, and grandeur. We are women as one.

One of my favorite authors is Richard Paul Evans and from his book “The Locket”, I found this excerpt:

“Believe. Believe in your destiny and the star from which it shines. Believe you have been sent from God as a arrow pulled from his own bow.

“It is the single universal trait which the great of this earth have all shared.”

As women we must believe in our own destiny.

Thank you to the sisterhood for being a part of my destiny.

Peace!

Connections through a Scarf

On Monday I was supposed to receive the scarf from Kathy Webb. Sadly, she had a meeting and could not make it. She did leave me a letter explaining this and telling me more about herself, which I thought was very nice of her. I retired the previous scarf I was wearing and admired the beautiful colors of the scarf of the sisterhood. Since it was a very rainy day and I did not have an umbrella, I wrapped the scarf around my head and headed to class. At this moment I thought that I must look like someone from Muslim decent and I thought it was kind of ironic that people would see me and probably think I practiced my religion. As people saw me pass me, they looked at me. At this moment I started to think what it would be like to walk in someone else’s shoes. I feel like we could learn a lot about each other if we did that from time to time; it would help us gain tolerance towards one and others.

I wore the scarf around my neck, and around my waist when I was inside. I have never gotten so many compliments on a scarf before. I tried to tell everyone I could about the Sisterhood of the Traveling Scarf and felt disappointed if someone complimented me on it and I did not tell them about its purpose. On Tuesday, I saw a fellow member of the sisterhood also wearing a scarf. We instantly connected and talked for a little while. I feel that when I got the scarf I was having the most stressful week ever. Its funny how sometimes things can get so out of control. On Wednesday, I had to pass the scarf to the next member of the Sisterhood, Caryl Nunez. When we meet, we shared our stresses of the week and it made me feel better about my current problems. It made me feel at ease knowing that I’m not the only one that is stressed out under such a big workload. Finally, before saying our goodbyes, we noticed that we both were from Spanish speaking countries, so we started speaking in Spanish. To me, it is always amazing when I find someone who can speak my native language, it always makes me feel more at home.

The scarf was only a scarf, the meaningful part of this process is the connections we make with the women that wear the scarf. By meeting each other to pass the scarf along, we make connections that would have never had happened otherwise. I feel honored to have been part of this beautiful Sisterhood. Thank you fellow sisters for making these beautiful connections!

I hope with all my heart that the connections made through this process only get stronger and more powerful. Best to all of you!

Sincerely,

Yaimarie :)

Things Happen Justly.

A theme that I have learned this week through my human rights senior capstone course is that things do not just happen. they happen justly. This is according to Gandhi. And I believe this scarf has brought many moments today that reminded me to appreciate myself and my life, despite all the noise and running around I must do that sometimes blurs my recognition of blessings. It began with getting compliments on the scarf in the morning and afternoon, which I keep mentioning to people- Sisterhood of the traveling scarf! And proceed to explain to them what we are doing and they seem very excited that this is a program and would like to sign up for it in the future and that's very exciting.

It was nice to have people compliment me on the scarf because it gave me the opportunity to remember once again that I was currently participating in a program much bigger than me, connecting me to other women on this campus. It was important to have this reminder throughout the day because these are the worst three days of my semester, Tuesday, today and tomorrow (in terms of work load). With three exams, and meetings and dinners to go to from 5:30pm until 11pm tonight. I have two exams tomorrow, as well as a Human Rights professor search to be a part of, attend their lectures, and attend the lectures and special events of the Gandhi scholar in residence for this week, and a two day conference beginning at 8am on Friday. Needless to say, Im a bit overwhelmed, but everytime someone stops to say, "hey, thats a nice scarf", it makes me stop and think to myself, "hey bonehead, you're gonna be fine, and remember to blog about all of this later tonight!"

Additionally, after our staff meeting ended at 11 tonight I was in a rush to get back to my room and get started on studying and reading but for some reason I went to check my mail and received two very wonderfully grounding items. One was from another RA who just got back from a retreat and wrote a message to all of us RAs and put it in our mailbox and reminded us all that we are special and loved. And Im not even sure when she wrote this for us because it has been quite some time since I have checked my mailbox. But I needed those words tonight. The other was a letter from a peer, who is easily one of the most influential persons in my life and is currently doing Marianist Lay Formation and the group was tasked with writing a letter to someone, encouraging them. She indeed had very encouraging words for me of which the one quote I choose to include here is her last sentence, because it applies to you too: "You are exquisite, inside and out, created with intention by God, who loved your very soul into being. Nothing changes that fact."

I didn't just receive the scarf today by accident, or happen to be overwhelmingly busy academically because my professors all sit together and plot against us all, or happen to just receive words of encouragement coincidentally when I needed it most. All of these things happened justly.

All the best,

Caryl

I believe this scarf has brought many moments today that reminded me to appreciate myself and my life, despite all the noise and running around I must do that sometimes blurs my recognition of blessings. It began with getting compliments on the scarf in the morning and afternoon, which I keep mentioning to people- Sisterhood of the traveling scarf! And proceed to explain to them what we are doing and they seem very excited that this is a program and would like to sign up for it in the future and that's very exciting. It was nice to have people compliment me on the scarf because it gave me the opportunity to remember once again that I was currently participating in a program much bigger than me, connecting me to other women on this campus. It was important to have this reminder throughout the day because these are the worst three days of my semester, Tuesday, today and tomorrow (in terms of work load). With three exams, and meetings and dinners to go to from 5:30pm until 11pm tonight. I have two exams tomorrow, as well as a Human Rights professor search to be a part of, attend their lectures, and attend the lectures and special events of the Gandhi scholar in residence for this week, and a two day conference beginning at 8am on Friday. Needless to say, Im a bit overwhelmed, but everytime someone stops to say, "hey, thats a nice scarf", it makes me stop and think to myself, "hey bonehead, you're gonna be fine, and remember to blog about all of this later tonight!"

Additionally, after our staff meeting ended at 11 tonight I was in a rush to get back to my room and get started on studying and reading but for some reason I went to check my mail and received two very wonderfully grounding items. One was from another RA who just got back from a retreat and wrote a message to all of us RAs and put it in our mailbox and reminded us all that we are special and loved. And Im not even sure when she wrote this for us because it has been quite some time since I have checked my mailbox. But I needed those words tonight. The other was a letter from one of my dearest friends that is currently doing Marianist Lay Formation and the group was tasked with writing a letter to someone, encouraging them. She indeed had very encouraging words to me of which the one quote I choose to include here is: "You are exquisite, inside and out, created with intention by God, who loved your very soul into being. Nothing changes that fact."