Connections through a Scarf

On Monday I was supposed to receive the scarf from Kathy Webb. Sadly, she had a meeting and could not make it. She did leave me a letter explaining this and telling me more about herself, which I thought was very nice of her. I retired the previous scarf I was wearing and admired the beautiful colors of the scarf of the sisterhood. Since it was a very rainy day and I did not have an umbrella, I wrapped the scarf around my head and headed to class. At this moment I thought that I must look like someone from Muslim decent and I thought it was kind of ironic that people would see me and probably think I practiced my religion. As people saw me pass me, they looked at me. At this moment I started to think what it would be like to walk in someone else’s shoes. I feel like we could learn a lot about each other if we did that from time to time; it would help us gain tolerance towards one and others.

I wore the scarf around my neck, and around my waist when I was inside. I have never gotten so many compliments on a scarf before. I tried to tell everyone I could about the Sisterhood of the Traveling Scarf and felt disappointed if someone complimented me on it and I did not tell them about its purpose. On Tuesday, I saw a fellow member of the sisterhood also wearing a scarf. We instantly connected and talked for a little while. I feel that when I got the scarf I was having the most stressful week ever. Its funny how sometimes things can get so out of control. On Wednesday, I had to pass the scarf to the next member of the Sisterhood, Caryl Nunez. When we meet, we shared our stresses of the week and it made me feel better about my current problems. It made me feel at ease knowing that I’m not the only one that is stressed out under such a big workload. Finally, before saying our goodbyes, we noticed that we both were from Spanish speaking countries, so we started speaking in Spanish. To me, it is always amazing when I find someone who can speak my native language, it always makes me feel more at home.

The scarf was only a scarf, the meaningful part of this process is the connections we make with the women that wear the scarf. By meeting each other to pass the scarf along, we make connections that would have never had happened otherwise. I feel honored to have been part of this beautiful Sisterhood. Thank you fellow sisters for making these beautiful connections!

I hope with all my heart that the connections made through this process only get stronger and more powerful. Best to all of you!

Sincerely,

Yaimarie :)

Things Happen Justly.

A theme that I have learned this week through my human rights senior capstone course is that things do not just happen. they happen justly. This is according to Gandhi. And I believe this scarf has brought many moments today that reminded me to appreciate myself and my life, despite all the noise and running around I must do that sometimes blurs my recognition of blessings. It began with getting compliments on the scarf in the morning and afternoon, which I keep mentioning to people- Sisterhood of the traveling scarf! And proceed to explain to them what we are doing and they seem very excited that this is a program and would like to sign up for it in the future and that's very exciting.

It was nice to have people compliment me on the scarf because it gave me the opportunity to remember once again that I was currently participating in a program much bigger than me, connecting me to other women on this campus. It was important to have this reminder throughout the day because these are the worst three days of my semester, Tuesday, today and tomorrow (in terms of work load). With three exams, and meetings and dinners to go to from 5:30pm until 11pm tonight. I have two exams tomorrow, as well as a Human Rights professor search to be a part of, attend their lectures, and attend the lectures and special events of the Gandhi scholar in residence for this week, and a two day conference beginning at 8am on Friday. Needless to say, Im a bit overwhelmed, but everytime someone stops to say, "hey, thats a nice scarf", it makes me stop and think to myself, "hey bonehead, you're gonna be fine, and remember to blog about all of this later tonight!"

Additionally, after our staff meeting ended at 11 tonight I was in a rush to get back to my room and get started on studying and reading but for some reason I went to check my mail and received two very wonderfully grounding items. One was from another RA who just got back from a retreat and wrote a message to all of us RAs and put it in our mailbox and reminded us all that we are special and loved. And Im not even sure when she wrote this for us because it has been quite some time since I have checked my mailbox. But I needed those words tonight. The other was a letter from a peer, who is easily one of the most influential persons in my life and is currently doing Marianist Lay Formation and the group was tasked with writing a letter to someone, encouraging them. She indeed had very encouraging words for me of which the one quote I choose to include here is her last sentence, because it applies to you too: "You are exquisite, inside and out, created with intention by God, who loved your very soul into being. Nothing changes that fact."

I didn't just receive the scarf today by accident, or happen to be overwhelmingly busy academically because my professors all sit together and plot against us all, or happen to just receive words of encouragement coincidentally when I needed it most. All of these things happened justly.

All the best,

Caryl

I believe this scarf has brought many moments today that reminded me to appreciate myself and my life, despite all the noise and running around I must do that sometimes blurs my recognition of blessings. It began with getting compliments on the scarf in the morning and afternoon, which I keep mentioning to people- Sisterhood of the traveling scarf! And proceed to explain to them what we are doing and they seem very excited that this is a program and would like to sign up for it in the future and that's very exciting. It was nice to have people compliment me on the scarf because it gave me the opportunity to remember once again that I was currently participating in a program much bigger than me, connecting me to other women on this campus. It was important to have this reminder throughout the day because these are the worst three days of my semester, Tuesday, today and tomorrow (in terms of work load). With three exams, and meetings and dinners to go to from 5:30pm until 11pm tonight. I have two exams tomorrow, as well as a Human Rights professor search to be a part of, attend their lectures, and attend the lectures and special events of the Gandhi scholar in residence for this week, and a two day conference beginning at 8am on Friday. Needless to say, Im a bit overwhelmed, but everytime someone stops to say, "hey, thats a nice scarf", it makes me stop and think to myself, "hey bonehead, you're gonna be fine, and remember to blog about all of this later tonight!"

Additionally, after our staff meeting ended at 11 tonight I was in a rush to get back to my room and get started on studying and reading but for some reason I went to check my mail and received two very wonderfully grounding items. One was from another RA who just got back from a retreat and wrote a message to all of us RAs and put it in our mailbox and reminded us all that we are special and loved. And Im not even sure when she wrote this for us because it has been quite some time since I have checked my mailbox. But I needed those words tonight. The other was a letter from one of my dearest friends that is currently doing Marianist Lay Formation and the group was tasked with writing a letter to someone, encouraging them. She indeed had very encouraging words to me of which the one quote I choose to include here is: "You are exquisite, inside and out, created with intention by God, who loved your very soul into being. Nothing changes that fact."

Hello Sisterhood!,

I trust all of you are doing fabulous!

I received the scarf last Friday and for reasons quite outside my control, am just now posting this blog. I apologize for the delay.


The scarf and I had a wonderful few days together. I was obliged to talk about Her (and, as a result, this sisterhood on campus) constantly and without hesitation. I received so many inquiries and compliments that I nearly considered wearing a post-it on my forehead so as to substitute for personal explanation. I imagine it would have read something like this: "I am a part of something bigger than myself! Feel free to ask me questions." I found, however that personal explanation was the only way to communicate my feelings.

To me, unity is an indelible aspect of womanhood. As women, we share struggles, pressures, and associate with one another through our natural existence. To be sure, this sense of unity is shared by all humankind but I particularly associate with the label "woman" on a daily basis for it has worked in shaping my perceptions and passionate outlook on life. Until I began explaining the Sisterhood to others, this passion was not quite so evident to me. However, after this experience I learned that unity means more than sharing what you have inside..it is, first and foremost, sharing in and feasting on, what is outside of you. There is a Chinese proverb that, summarized here, sheds light on the constant battle between what is inside us all and what lies outside. The proverb demonstrates that we should not go inside ourselves and hide away but by the same token we cannot seek only the external world. There is a sense of balance that must be struck intentionally in all our lives. For women, this balance is vitally important. We have endured a history of abuses and usurpations that have defined our social roles for centuries.

So my advice to you all is to create that balance in your own life! Share in the beauty of others and hold true to your womanhood for it is a very worthy association.

In Sisterhood,
Ashley

Day of Joy :)

I like to think of my day with the scarf as a day of joy. I recieved the scarf from Ms. Patty on the 15th. I always love talking with Ms.Patty! We talked about my future plans as a student here at UD. She also forwarded me an awesome e-mail about summer employment that offers free hosuing. We talked breifly about my boyfriend and she gave me some advice. She told me that she had a good Valentines day! Thats always exciting!

I wore the scraf on the 16th. Alot of my friends touched it and told me it was pretty. I took that time to tell them about the program and my sisters! They were excited and wished they had heard about it so they could participate. Over all my day was very interesting. I had my first meeting with my new academic advisor. She is a very meek lady named Dr.Zois. She is also a clinical psychology major! Awesome! She was quite over whelmed with my plans. I guess she had never come across a student with such a strick plan to follow in determination to reach my goals. I kept bouncing ideas and time frames off of her. I'm sure I left her with a lot of homework to do! The over all meeting was very helpful! She even introduced me to some of the grad schools, Masters, and Ph.D programs that would be good for me to look into.

My last adventure with the scarf took me to the librabry on the 17th. There I passed the scraf to Mrs.Webb. I must admit I was quiet intimidated when I arrived at her office and seen the Dean sign out front. When I walked in the ladies were very friendly. The secretary asked me did I have an appointment to see Mrs.Webb. I said no and she said what can I help you with? I didn't know what to do so I pulled out the scarf and laid it on the counter. She immediately went to go get Mrs. Webb! That was awesome!!! I did not get to talk to Mrs.Webb for that long but we did learn a bit about each other. She told me she was nervous about writing her blog. I told her not to be, to just write about her day. She asked me about my major and campus involvement. Later, she sent me a wonderful e-mail telling a little more about herself. I can understand that she is a busy lady. I enjoyed reading it and I am excited that she thought enough about me to send it! I sent her an e-mail back introducing myself a little better too.

We share some of the same feelings about being the "only" person in the room. For her, it was being a female in such a high position. For me, it is being a young and multi cultural. I am 17 yrs old and I am mixed with African American, German, Indian,Cuban and a few other things! Maybe there are more of you that share the same feelings. I want every one of my sisters to be encouraged! I want you all to know that it is ok to be the "only" anything in the room. You are setting the path for the people following in your foot steps. You are a positive role model and example! More power to you! I appreciate and support you! :)

Shared Purpose

I received the scarf from Sierra on Thursday while I was in the middle of a deadline. I did not take the time to sit down with her for a few minutes so I really only got a chance to exchange a few words. I regret that and decided to send her an email instead. In that message I talked a bit about myself and my reasons for volunteering to be part of this project. It felt good to connect...even if only over email.

My scarf day began very early -- my daughter was leaving for a trip and we had to be up by 3:45 a.m. to get her going. Clearly it is going to be a long day! I worked out with Josie, my wonderful student trainer before coming to work. Working out in the early morning is hard for me (I am so not a morning person) but I always feel good on my workout days. As I was getting dressed and wrapping the scarf around my neck I thought that today would be doubly good.

I showed the scarf off to one of my colleagues who will wear it later this month. While we were talking several people came up and complimented me on the scarf. I took the opportunity to tell them about the program and its intention. All through the day I received compliments on the scarf and shared its purpose.

Shared purpose...in the end that is what the scarf represents to me. While I work in a profession that is primarily female, increasingly my interactions on campus are with men. While I respect and admire my campus colleagues, I do occasionally feel a bit like an outsider. Today I had an opportunity to feel like an insider -- part of something bigger than me. Thank you to all the other members of the sisterhood. I do hope we get a chance to come together again to share our experiences. However, whether we meet in person or not, I know I am part of the sisterhood!

Inspiration from a Scarf

The first connection I had with the scarf was actually through a conversation with my roommate. I was talking to Chrissy about how I had joined this group, this sisterhood, and she asked me what a scarf had to do with connecting women. And at first I couldn't answer her. I didn't have an answer yet, and I suppose that was the point of me getting involved in a project I normally would never take the time to consider. I'm usually a very shy person. I've always had a hard time just talking to people, introducing myself. Being me, really.

So on Wednesday I met with Amber for lunch. When she pulled the scarf out to hand to me I was already awed by it. To many onlookers it was probably an ordinary scarf, a beautiful one no doubt, but just a scarf. To me though it meant something a little more. It was a symbol of my confidence. A sense of myself for the first time reaching out of my shell. And for the rest of that wonderful lunch with Amber, a person that lived in the same building with me but I had never even met until now, I kept thinking about what tomorrow would hold for me.

And around midnight I was hurtling towards a mental meltdown. I had this huge deadline I was afraid I wouldn't make and it just seemed like more and more tasks were being piled onto my Thursday. I finally went to bed around 2 am after working since 7 pm. And when I woke up, the sun was shining and the scarf hung on my wall, waiting. So before I rushed out the door for my first class of the day I snatched the scarf and tossed it around my neck. And for a moment I forgot all the stress.

Through the day I had four classes, a work meeting, a Flyer Radio meeting, and a Phi Beta Chi rush event. Plus, it was my 11 month anniversary with my, as of this year, long distance boyfriend. My day with the scarf was possibly one of the busiest days of my college career. But for the first time since I came to Dayton in August, I felt like I could accomplish it all. And I did. The scarf gave me the confidence to keep going, no matter how tired I was, or stressed, or irritated. It was an emblem of my personal struggle within and on the outside as well. And as I sat down that night I began to think about the many other women who were taking part in this experience. All of their struggles that they had conquered and were still going through. I no longer felt alone.

Not only was I not alone. I had a sisterhood, not just defined by this scarf, but rather every woman I had ever known and will never meet. Being a woman is a sisterhood all on its own. I am a part of the sisterhood of being a woman.

So when I passed the scarf to Gina today I wasn't just passing a scarf; I was passing my experience in life, as well as Amber's. And Gina will continue this string of experiences. A circle will be created. A circle of womanhood, of sisterhood. Of love.